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Mother - Part 1


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WE BUILT a surrogate Mother," Dr. Harry F. Harlow, President of the American Psychological Association, has reported about his investigation into the nature of love among baby monkeys. "The surrogate was made from a block of wood, covered with sponge rubber and sheathed in a tan terry cloth. A light bulb behind 'her' radiated heat. The result was a 'Mother/ soft, warm, and tender ... a very superior Mother"; so superior, in fact, that "the infant monkey's affection for the real mother is strong but no stronger than that of the experimental monkey for the surrogate cloth mother." Harlow's experimental baby monkeys spent many hours a day clinging tightly to their mother-substitute. When frightened, they rushed to "her" and showed obvious comfort in "her" presence.

While monkeys, as the late comedian Lew Lehr was fond of saying, may be "the craziest people," their dependence on Mother is a popular bond they share with the rest of us. Psychiatrists at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine have found that the image of Mother dominates the earliest memories of most adults. The poet Bates observed long ago that "The men of the nation are what their mothers make them . . . and the voice which those men speak, in the expression of their power, is the voice of the women who bore and bred them." Our own common observations such as the following two exchanges from the same edition of the New York Mirror remind us how the maternal image dominates most of our less powerful and more plebeian expressions as well:

"Dear Abby," wrote a woman who signed herself "In Between" to syndicated columnist Abigail Van Buren. "My married brother was operated on for appendicitis and he was given a big dose of ether. While he was coming out of the ether he kept calling for his mother. His wife was there and she was terribly put out because he called for his mother instead of for her. Now . . . my sister-in-law is very mad at my brother over this. Please tell me if she can hold my brother responsible for what he said under ether?"

"Dear In," replied Abby. "Any doctor will tell you that it is only 'natural' to call for 'Mother' under these circumstances. The wife should not feel hurt or slighted. When she raises a son, she will realize that no matter how old a man grows, he is still his mother's child."

In another Mirror column called "You Said It!" Artie Aidala asked two men and two women the question: "Every Man a Boy to Mom?" A professional chauffeur from Yonkers, N.Y., said, "I can't answer for every man, but speaking for myself, in my mother's eyes, I'm still her boy — her only boy — and I'm a happily married man and father of three children . . . She's 73. I'm 50." A Bronx housewife agreed that "A mother more or less always feels that her son is still a child regardless of how old he may be ... I know — I have a brother who is past 50; yet my mother still regards him as a child." A Union City, N.J., housewife seconded the notion that "no matter what the age of her son, he always remains a 'boy' to (his mother) . . . And I think there must be some men," she added, "who remain 'boys' to their wives." And, she might well have added further, to their advertisers.


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